Chapter 3: Demon of Jealousy and Possession

Sometimes things don't always go as planned and futures were constantly changing. That was her case anyway.

All those years ago, when Arial decided to try again, she could see a firm and set future with Jack.

Of course her past and the abusive relationships she had suffered and lived through haunted her. As time went on her trust and faith in Jack built and the demons drifted into the back of her mind.

How long did it take her to be able to take her eyes of her feet as she walked in public? She had not been conscious of picking up that habit many moons ago, it just became routine. She remembered why she did it though. It was to avoid public confrontation.

Her ex-husband was a very jealous man and she could not make eye contact with anyone without the public humiliation that would occur. He would swear she was trying to send signals to the person she looked at. The innocent person would be confronted and would scurry away in shock. Embarrassment and the feeling that she had done something wrong had welled up inside her and so she avoided all chances of looking at others.

After awhile it became a habit and if there was a chance that she made eye contact especially with a man, she would feel guilty and uncomfortable. Tim, her ex was relentless and she always lived walking on eggshells. Her hands shook when he would get near her and her heart would pound loudly in her ears. She just never knew when he would set off and it made her literally sick to her stomach.

Most of the friends that she occurred through her first marriage were through Tim. They knew how he was so they avoided any occurrence that would make her situation worse. They made sure he was the focus of their attention and that Arial was just a background addition to him. After a time, she gave up on having friends because it just was not worth the drama it caused. It did not bother her after awhile and she preferred the background of it all.

The mental and emotional abuse with Tim started within months of their relationship. Arial had been young and had never seen or dealt with anything like what was happening. She felt that she was honestly doing something wrong without realizing it. So she did everything she could think of to alter herself so that she would not do whatever it was he thought she was doing.

She lived each day in fear of what would be next. He never put his hands on her, but she had heard he had beaten his women before. Sometimes in his rages, he would look at her. The fear would close her throat down and she could not breathe. She knew that if Tim ever went as far as to touch her in anger, he would kill her. She could see this in his eyes. She could feel it in the tension radiating off him.

Before long her contact with the outside world was shut down completely. She lived in a prison of jealous and possession, of fear.

By the time that the marriage ended, she was on the verge of a full breakdown. She lived in fear as he had her followed and made threats. There were times where she would hide in a closet with her children with a gun in her hands, begging the cops by phone to stop him.

No one ever came, no one saved her. At times she felt that going back would be safer and the decision not to, was the hardest one. This fear was much worse than the ones she had when she lived with him. He had others follow her and she was always looking over her shoulder. Threats of killing her, was his constant reminder if she stayed away. It got to the point where she cried at random and hid herself away from the world. Even after he went to prison the fear remained as his friends picked up where he left off.

Arial took a breath as she remembered the past as it was. She did not like to think about it a lot and to do so, brought back so much of it. The emotion of what she went through would come breaking out and the fear would be right there in her face. Being with Jack made things easier.

It took many years to put that all behind her, well it was there but she had eventual felt safe with Jack and learned how to trust once again. She no longer looked at her feet as much and there was very little unease, when she spoke to someone. It took almost eight years for her to be able to reach out and have friends. She had finally reached a point she felt was recovery. For the first time, she had gotten that demon that haunted her footsteps in the back of her memories. She had Jack to thank for that road of recovery and self-discovery.

She finally felt safe and secure in the relationship.