Chapter 1: In the Sunset of Divorce

Arial sat looking out at the sunset and thought about the latest revelation of her life. She still could not get over it. The part she played and how it affected the whole situation. There was no surprise really in the knowledge she had gained. Once again she believed in the saying. Maybe the best things in life had to wait. Maybe there was a time frame in which it was allowed and would work out. This did not seem to be that time.

She tried to push past the resentment that made her heart ache. She could not get rid of the voice that whispered in her ear that it was not fair. This weekend she had contentment and peace. For briefness he seemed happy, relaxed. That lightened a heavy burden and for the first time, she saw just how much his unhappiness affected how she felt. It hurt to know that all she could offer was not enough to make him happy. She created a home for him, gave him wonderful children, and tried to be the best wife she could be, but in the end, she still could not give him the happiness that she saw over the weekend. The lightness he radiated as he talked and laughed with others, in a home that was not their own. It was a deeper sadness than she had ever experienced. Even through her own personal sadness, she did have a happiness seeing him in this mood.

She mulled over her thoughts as the sun set and darkness crept in. She had talked to family and friends, asked advice and tried everything. What else was left to do?

There were doubts of getting any new advice and suggestions. She had hundreds of ideas on what went wrong with him, but was not sure which ones were the right ones. There were many and they could all be wrong, then again it could very well be all of them. Arial was simply stumped over what to do. This was the hardest part. Something broke and she had no clue at this point of how to fix it. Hell, she was not sure where to start or if she was right or wrong about what the problem may be.

Was it the house? Was he seriously that tired of it? Was it the kids and the drama that came with their unconventional family? Was it his health? Was it work? Did he not love her enough? Did he not trust or have faith in her? Was it none of this or is it all of it? She did not know the answers to all the questions. As time passed on her heart broke even more. It was the fact of not knowing that was killing her. He would not admit to what was wrong. Oh he had pointed out hundreds of things, and there was hundreds of things she changed, but in the end she waited for his change and it never came.

He was her rock and in a blink she lost that rock. With one simple sentence he snatched away her support that she had survived through everything on. In rare moments she realized that he never listened when she really needed him too.
When she had changed things in hopes of fixing things, and nothing was left for him to say was the problem, he asked for a divorce. As soon as the words left his mouth, her heart had come to a crashing halt, and she found she could not breathe. She tried to ask him what was wrong but he just kept saying he was done and wanted out.

She had been married once before and went through a divorce and knew for certain what the problem was. In that moment she was completely lost. She could not think about anything but to get as far away from those hurtful words as possible. She was unprepared for what he said. Maybe if they had been fighting or something. It was not the case. They were sitting around with friends having a good time and just out of the blue he stood and announced to her in front of all their friends and his family that he wanted out.

As the darkness consumed her, she could still feel the pain of shock that had went through her that night. Even six months later she can hear those words, her breath shortens, her chest aches. Still she could not figure out just what the problem is so that she can solve it. Is there a fixable cause? She did not like to think about that and the tears rolled down her cheek in the dark of the night. She did not want to think about it at all.